Nicole Tasker Woods

Now think about that phrase to the tune of “Don’t Rock the Boat”–that’s the song I sing every time I drop the soap in the shower, which is about 3-5 times per shower visit. And it is not just the soap I am dropping regularly these days, it is EVERYTHING! Since I hit 5 months in my pregnancy and my belly has gotten a lot bigger, my fingers have gotten buttery. I can’t seem to hold onto anything.

Towards the end of a long day of dropping items on the floor, I start to ease myself down to the floor to sit, grab the item, take a minute and then haul myself back up to a standing position. My back is so tired of me bending over again and again and AGAIN! I am definitely earning my monthly massage this time around.

I think it is a hazing/rite-of-passage every mother-to-be must endure. From what I have heard from other mothers, they know EXACTLY what I am talking about.

I have the most vivid dreams since becoming pregnant. In the early months they were about whether my baby would be a boy or a girl. But now that I know the sex, you would assume I dream about him and what he will be like.

Nope! Instead, I dream about a belly button made of black yarn, a midget with metal legs and a secret room in my house behind the washer & dryer unit.

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That is the time I wake up every single morning for my first pee break. I am not able to sleep past 3:00 AM before my eyes open up to the glowing red numbers and my bladder is screaming at me to get up. I roll out of bed–because I can no longer sit up to swing my legs off the edge of the bed–and I make my way to the restroom in the dark.

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Eggplant!

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word
Mama’s gonna buy you a mockin’bird

If that mockin’bird don’t sing
Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring

If that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama’s gonna buy you a looking glass

If that looking glass gets broke
Mama’s gonna buy you a billy goat

If that billy goat don’t pull,
Mama’s gonna buy you a cart and mule

If that cart and mule turn over
Mama’s gonna buy you a dog named Rover

If that dog named Rover won’t bark
Mama’s gonna buy you a horse and cart

If that Horse and Cart fall down,
Then you’ll be the sweetest little baby in town

Hot cross buns!
Hot cross buns!
One a penny, two a penny,
Hot cross buns!

If you have no daughters,
Give them to your sons!
One a penny, two a penny,
Hot cross buns!

The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching one by one,
The little one stops to suck his thumb
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching two by two,
The little one stops to tie his shoe
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching three by three,
The little one stops to climb a tree
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching four by four,
The little one stops to shut the door
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching five by five, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching five by five, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching five by five,
The little one stops to take a dive
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching six by six, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching six by six, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching six by six,
The little one stops to pick up sticks
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching seven by seven,
The little one stops to pray to heaven
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching eight by eight,
The little one stops to shut the gate
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching nine by nine, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching nine by nine, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching nine by nine,
The little one stops to check the time
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ants go marching ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching ten by ten,
The little one stops to say “THE END”
And they all go marching down to the ground
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,
Skip, to my Lou, my darlin’.

Fly’s in the buttermilk, shoo, shoo, shoo,
Fly’s in the buttermilk, shoo, shoo, shoo,
Fly’s in the buttermilk, shoo, shoo, shoo,
Skip, to my Lou, my darlin’.

I saw a ship a-sailing,
A-sailing on the sea.
And, oh, but it was laden
With pretty things for thee.
There were comfits in the cabin,
And apples in the hold;
The sails were made of silk
And the masts were all of gold.

The four-and-twenty sailors
That stood between the decks,
Were four-and-twenty white mice
With chains about their necks.

The captain was a duck
With a packet on his back,
The captain said, “Quack! Quack!”

Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.

Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe.