Nicole Tasker Woods

Aidan’s new thing is to shove his entire fist into his mouth. The first time we watched him do it while he was in his bath. Here we are, washing this filthy boy, removing dirt balls from the folds of his neck–and what is he doing? He has artfully put his entire hand – up to his writs – inside his mouth. Freak!

And whenever we pause halfway through a bottle feeding for a burp session, his hand moves to his mouth lightning fast–too fast to stop it before his fingers reach his lips–and lately, he’s been gagging himself until he spits up. Awesome.

I tried to talk to him about body image, explain that we love him just the way he is, and that he doesn’t have to worry what he looks like in swim trunks. But I fear this fell on deaf ears.

Now I am constantly blocking his hand from going into his mouth and shoving a bottle in there as quickly as possible. He did not like that tactic last night and was angrily screaming at me. He was VERY mad that I wouldn’t let him suck on his hand, but once he realized there was a bottle of milk in his mouth, he started to vigorously suck as if he was starving to death. Drama King.

Do you ever feel like a reboot?

This summer was crazy for me. I went on maternity leave in early June, had 2 weeks off while very pregnant and then on Friday June 17th (the last day of my 2 weeks off from work–thank you Aidan for letting mommy soak it up) I gave birth to my son. From that day, I had a total of 10 weeks off from work and it was full of dirty diapers, breast feeding, visits from friends & relatives, doctor’s visits & check-ups, breast pumping, sunning pool-side, long stroller walks, short bjorn walks, alcohol whenever I wanted it, a Taylor Swift concert, a chili cook-off and two sushi lunches.

The visits with family and friends were probably the most exhausting. Although everyone was helpful when at the house (which was my favorite part about the visitors) and overjoyed to see Aidan, it was a lot of work entertaining so many people in such a short amount of time. And everyone wanted to take advantage of me being off from work in an effort to see me AND the baby, so when one person’s visit ended another one began the next week or even the next day.

Even outings to see friends locally for lunch with the little boy were hard because this summer was WICKED hot. The car rides felt long, the lunches felt long and there was lots of sweaty baby-holding. Sometimes he slept through the meal and then woke up just as we finished eating, in time to hand him around the table in a very serene squishy mood, perfect for hand-offs. But other times he was wide awake from the minute we parked the car until we paid the check.

Needless to say, I was anxious to get back to work and dive into a normal daily routine. So far, Aidan has shown signs of thoroughly enjoying our routine. He just adores his nanny and is always happy when we come home from work–what more could you ask for?

Today marks the end of my first two weeks back at work. Ryan, Carolyn, Aidan & I are rewarding ourselves with a weekend in Palm Springs. We rented a house in La Quinta with 3 bedrooms and private pool. We also booked spa treatments in Indian Wells for Saturday and plan on doing dinner at Ruth’s Chris Saturday night. So while Cali plays at Camp Woods with Clark and 3 dogs this weekend, we will be getting some much needed R&R–which doubles as Aidan’s very first vacation trip. Not sure if babies really need vacations, but I know I do!

When Ryan and I are at work all day long, the PM schedule is pretty abbreviated for the baby boy. Every night Aidan takes his bath at 8pm, eats his dinner bottle and then drifts off to dreamland. This schedule gives us a good amount of time to ourselves in the evening after Aidan goes to sleep, but it also gives us time to spend with the little man between 5:45-8pm. We try to plan dinner at 7:30pm for us (with Aidan watching from his bouncy chair on the kitchen table) so that we have that time to ourselves afterwards.

We are still rocking him to sleep after he finishes eating so he ends up swaddled in his crib sometime between 8:30 – 9:15pm, all depending on how difficult he is being. I dread the day we have to put him in his crib still awake and let him get himself to sleep. Eek!

After eating sometimes Aidan falls asleep with the tip of the bottle’s nipple in his mouth (I love those nights). And other times, his eyes are wide open as he sucks the bottle dry and he can’t help but look around while smiling, drooling, talking and his favorite–thrashing and jerking his entire body back and forth, up and down, left and right.

These days, Aidan sleeps from about 8:30pm until 5am, wakes up for a diaper change and an early morning bottle and then is back in bed by 6am until 9-10am. This works out great with our morning routine because I need to be in the shower by 6am in order to be ready for work and leave the house by 7am. And Ryan doesn’t leave the house until 7:30am when the nanny arrives.

However, he doesn’t always follow this schedule to the letter. Sometimes I have to hand over a wide-awake baby to Ryan so I can get ready for work. Obviously it is ideal for Aidan to be fast asleep while we get ready in the morning, but the A man will do whatever he wants!

One time in the wee hours of the morning, I walked in on Ryan holding Aidan up in front of him saying, “Please stop thrashing. No, this isn’t a game. It isn’t funny. Stop laughing. Go to sleep.”

Yesterday, Aidan had a very good Grammy day. He spends Wednesdays every week with his Grammy Carolyn and yesterday was his first time at Camp Woods.

He was already awake and super happy when I went in his room to get him ready to go in the morning.  We did the usual morning ritual of saying good morning, smiling and laughing–then we changed his diaper. After that, we went into the bathroom to wipe his face, neck and hands–then back to his bedroom to put on his clothes for the day.

It is so chilly in the mornings when I leave for work that I couldn’t resist dressing him in a long sleeve onesie with socks and matching pants. I knew it would be about 90 degrees by noontime, but I already gave Grammy Carolyn a bunch of clothes of various sizes for her to keep at her house. And I thought she might enjoy dressing him–who doesn’t love dressing a baby!

He ate half of his breakfast bottle with out a poop or spit up (yay!) and when he paused for a burp, we made our way downstairs. Aidan was completely content the entire drive in the backseat and so was Cali in the front seat!

I handed the little man off to his Grammy, grabbed some coffee in a to-go cup (my new favorite thing about dropping him off on Wednesdays) and then headed to work.

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It’s not any ol’ addiction to chocolate, but DARK chocolate. A few weeks after I had Aidan, all I could think about was dark chocolate–what brands were the best, who had the best prices.

I even got in the habit of buying different labels/brands to try out at every store I was at. Three from Target, 2 from Ralphs, a couple from Vons and a few from CVS. Every where I went, if they had a candy aisle or a kiosk or a display of gum–I searched for dark chocolate and would buy at least one bar.

Today, I was at the CVS and there was a sale on the Cadbury Royal Dark Chocolate where if you bought 2–you got 1 free–what a deal!!! I like this brand of chocolate–but my favorite is a no-name brand from the Ralphs grocery store. Not too bitter, but sweet and decadent.

I was able to twist the arm of my work friend Jennifer to have a couple squares of one of the cadbury bars. I asked her to split it with me so that I didn’t eat the entire thing myself, but let’s face it, I DID want to eat it all by myself and not share a single piece! And unfortunately, Jennifer knows what a nut I am about dark chocolate so she was more than willing to take a few pieces but let me have the rest.

I am not used to being hungry during the slow time of our afternoons at work. In the past, I kept a bunch of snacks at my desk, but with this being my first week back after maternity leave I have yet to stock up. I did buy some dry-roasted almonds yesterday so I have been snacking on those.

Despite indulging in almost an entire bar of dark chocolate today, I still had to top it off with a handful of almonds. I hate when you do that: you have 1 snack and then you can’t help but add a 2nd or a 3rd.

I don’t feel like I failed today, however, in my endeavor to not eat total crap all day long. I did have a super healthy lunch–salad with watermelon for dessert. I try to eat relatively well during the day while at work and then I don’t let myself feel bad if dinner is a food orgy of carbs, fats and not a lick of veggies. Besides, you only get one life to live, why waste it dieting?

Not to brag, but at my 6 week check up with my OBGYN (6 weeks after delivering my son) I was 3 pounds away from my pre-baby weight–yay me! I only gained 25 pounds during my pregnancy and was able to drop nearly all of it by the time my doctor gave me the go-ahead to do full-on exercise.

I didn’t start running again, but did continue to get 30 minutes of speed-walking daily with Aidan in his stroller and Cali on her leash. But after my nanny started working, I did less walking and more escaping from the house for me-time. Any mother would understand!

Now that I am back at work as of this past Monday, I have tried to take everyone for a walk once I get home, but it isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Once I walk in the door, I say hello to my crazy basenji and then I pick up my baby boy. Sometimes his schedule allows me to change into work out clothes and sneakers for a walk right away, but sometimes he needs his bottle, in which case everything is on hold while he gets a late afternoon snack. While I enjoy pushing the stroller with Aidan facing me so that I can look at him taking in the sights (and I get a more vigorous work out that way) some days I just want to hold him close to me while Cali & I walk around our complex enjoying the cool afternoon air.

As a result of not looking like I just had a baby, all of my old clothes are fitting me again–even my designer jeans from London. I find myself enjoying waking up early to shower, style my hair and put on nice clothes and heels for work. I haven’t been able to wear these clothes and shoes for about 11 months so it is like I have a brand new wardrobe! Every Sunday night I pull out the clothes I plan to wear that week and I steam them and decide which shoes will go with which outfit.

Going back to work feeling as skinny and pretty as I looked made my first day back a fabulous one. I got a million compliments from my co-workers–and who doesn’t love being told how awesome they look?!

I love my baby
Biscuits & gravy
He’s my baby boy

I love Aidan
When he is a-fadin’
He’s my sleepy boy

I love my rugrat
He is kinda fat
He’s my chubby boy

I love Aidan
Everyday he’s changin’
He’s my growing boy

I love my munchkin
When he is a-luncheon
He’s my hungry boy

I love my baby
Biscuits & gravy
He’s my baby boy

Copyright © 2011 N.E. Tasker

You’re curled up

Into a ball

Your bottom up in the air

Face on my chest

Squished into the sweetest

Open-mouth smile

All 11 pounds of you

Are weighing on me heavily

But I wouldn’t trade it for anything

You twitch and squirm

Sometimes you chuckle

Eyes fluttering as you dream

I never dreamed

I could love anything

As small as you

Copyright © 2011 N.E. Tasker

Today is my nanny’s first day, yay! I have waited for this day for a very VERY long time. There are some things that I need to get done that are nearly impossible with a newborn hanging over your shoulder. And don’t get me wrong, I love Aidan to pieces, but I am really looking forward to going back to work. I may have told you this already but I always thought I would have a hard time returning to work after having a baby. I thought I would want to be a stay-at-home mom and although we couldn’t afford our mortgage if I stopped working, I did fantasize about playing baby all day long. But after being elbow deep in diapers and onesies, Sesame Street and tummy-time, stroller walks and car seat naps–I am ready to hand my son off to someone else!

I also really like what I do for a living and I miss going into the office every day. It did get tiresome towards the end of my pregnancy because I was this big fat blob waddling up and down the hallways from the kitchen to my cubicle, back to the kitchen and to the restroom–over and over again. But now that I have officially lost all of my baby weight (yay me!) I am ready to go back to work.

I also did some re-inventing of my womanhood since Aidan was born. I got my hair turned to a platinum blonde and am working on growing it a bit longer. I also got a solid tan going since I have been walking Aidan and Cali on a daily basis. I highly recommend having a baby in the early summer months so that you are motivated to work out and look your best. I know I did!

Once the nanny got here, I showed her where everything baby was located, nursed Aidan and then handed him off to his new best friend so that I could indulge in one of my guiltiest pleasures–a long hot shower. I don’t know what the rest of the day will hold for me, but what I do know is I can do whatever I want and I don’t have to worry if Aidan’s needs are being met. I know he is in good hands and frankly, he knows it too. The minute he saw the nanny this morning, he smiled and laughed out loud.