Nicole Tasker Woods

I break the law every day…
Steal, cheat and inflict pain.
I violate the unwritten laws every week…
Lie, covet and deceive.

I can not refrain from taking
What is not mine and wishing the authorities
Would let me go on my merry way.

Without evil, there would be no good,
I am a savior to all the decent folk in this world.
You can not change who I am
Or what I strive to be every day of my life.
There is no changing, no becoming a better person…
I sold all those chances to the Devil
For a double cheeseburger and a side of fries.

In and out of jail, the brick and bars do not phase me;
Nor do they transform my frame of mind,
Despite what all of you think.

Putting my hand on the Bible
Means more than zilch.
This oath you think I have taken…
Swearing to tell the whole truth
And nothing but the truth
Is just one of the many lies I have told today.

Copyright © 2008 N.E. Tasker

…will keep the munchies at bay.

At least that is what I tell myself
As I sit at my desk at 2:35,
Waiting for 4:30 to roll around.

My iPod is singing a random mix of
Elvis, Wallflowers, Trace Adkins
And the occasional selection from the
Pure Moods CD that I bought from
An infomercial when I was 12.

My co-workers are busily clicking,
Surfing the net just like me.
We all pretend to be furiously busy
But if a passer-by were to take a peek,
They would find:
IM chats blinking,
Email checking,
Ebay buying,
And articles being read…
…some noteworthy CNN.com pieces
And some not-so-worthy TMZ.com gossip-blogs.

I stick a piece of gum in my mouth,
A sick attempt to make my stomach think
That it is being fed.
When in reality, dinner is still hours away.

Copyright © 2008 N.E. Tasker

I surprised myself this morning when the sound of my husband’s alarm (not mine) started screaming at 6:30am. My alarm goes off every morning at 5:45am and I can usually snooze a couple of times before finally rolling out of bed around 6:00am, but even now I can not remember my alarm sounding its usually church bells, despite my vivid memory of setting it last night. On every other ordinary morning (not this morning of course), I can get out of bed at 6:00am and be showered, dressed, and prettied by 6:25am in time to take Cali to the bathroom. Then I am ready to go at 6:30am and arrive at work between 7:05am – 7:15am. My work day is officially from 7:30am to 4:30pm. These hours allow me to miss traffic both ways and live a sane life with only a little over an hour on the road—round trip—every single day. I know some people in Los Angeles that spend hours on their morning commute alone. I am one of the lucky ones that work in the city with a bearable commute from a nice neighborhood 25 miles outside of the city.

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My ego is struck with piercing words
That just as soon draw blood
And ache the way
A knife, held by your gaze,
Would pierce my skin

You can see my face
But do not know what lies beneath
And you could never understand
Why I return your glare
Without a tear from my eyes

The tumultuous skies
Churning in the distance
Reflect the bloody truth in being
Desolate, harmful, wicked
Yet I still do not flinch

In forward motion and standing still
It is I who is free to explore
All that my future holds
And you are the one
Destined to be mounted

Copyright © 2008 N.E. Tasker

OMG! I forgot to tell you that after Chelsea got dumped, Matt walked her to the Limo and before they got there, she confronted him about choosing Shayne over her. She said that Shayne was the most flaky/fake person on the show. Matt was such a stand up guy and told Chelsea that she was wrong and that she obviously did not know Shayne like he does. Go Matt!

I love when the girls lash out. Makes it so much more dramatic!

So I was right about one thing from my last post on The Bachelor…ABC was trying to pull a fast one. My prediction was wrong and Matt proposed to Shayne, not Chelsea. I was still so happy to see this end result because I think that they make a much better couple than Chelsea and Matt ever could. As hard as Chelsea was trying to tell Matt she was in love with him, she did it so late in the game and when she finally opened up, she always seemed to speak awkwardly about her feelings and it even made me uncomfortable. You know that uncomfortable feeling you get when watching someone else try to express their thoughts and they just keep tripping over their words? It is like watching Paula Abdul on American Idol. It is so embarrassing to hear her speak, she sounds so doped up on pain pills that she just blurts out words.

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The weather took a turn for the better this weekend. By Sunday, there was a brisk breeze, the air was cool and the sun was hot. I had most of the day to myself before the whole family met up for Mother’s Day dinner. After Cali and I enjoyed our traditional Sunday breakfast of waffles, I cleaned the house just enough so the dog hairs were not visible and the toilets sparkled. Then at 11:30am all the chores were done and I peeled off my sweaty cleaning clothes and changed into workout shorts and a tank top so that I could work on my tan while I was outside. After getting situated with my sneakers, Cali was already into the idea that yes, we were going outside! She began prancing around the house and bouncing on the bed like a wild, crazy animal. I secured myself with an iPod and Cali with her leash and we were off.

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Every day that we are 3,000 miles apart, I think of my Mother. Four years ago, I left her at home in New Hampshire with my father and brothers When I moved to California to be with the man I would marry.

My body is in constant motion as I move through life and my mind moves just as fast while I work, clean, drive, exercise, or even lay still in bed waiting to dream. It is during these moments in my life that I lightly reflect on every childhood memory before that very day and how my Mother is in every single one…

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I am totally spoiled when it comes to cold weather. I grew up in New Hampshire and as most of you are aware, the cold, icky, wet weather in the Northeast lasts a majority of the year. Spring does not usually kick in until late April, the summers get unbearably hot until the cool, wet fall weather picks up in mid-September, which slowly turns to winter in late December, and so it goes. I remember having white Christmas’ when I was younger and seeing the snow flurry down on the deck with our decorated tree in the foreground, but less white weather around Christmas time as I grew older and moved from high school to college.

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Last night I watched the Women Tell All episode, which airs live. So when they called Matt out to answer some questions, he really had to watch what he said so he did not lead on to who he proposed to at the finale (which airs next week). But I did notice a few things which lead me to believe he chose Chelsea (poor Shayne!).

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Today started off fine. Not wonderful, but not bad either. Just fine. I woke up feeling as though I had gotten enough sleep and even layed in bed a few minutes before my alarm went off with the weight of Cali’s head on my feet. I let myself thoroughly enjoy the feeling of her head slightly moving as she licked her gums and making that wierd sound she makes when separating her lips from her teeth.

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