Nicole Tasker Woods

I can’t remember the last time Aidan slept through the night. I believe there were a few nights here and there in the last 3 months, but I’m on auto pilot when I hear him call for me in the 3am hour. Every night is pretty much the same…

• I get up, go to his room to find him standing in his crib facing the door, anxiously awaiting his momma to come and pick him up.
• I give him a hug and bring him downstairs to heat up a bottle.
• I hold him while I pee, he slaps the toilet paper unraveling the roll.
• I retrieve the bottle from the bottle warmer, go upstairs to the blue room and we lie on the couch together.
• He drinks the bottle until there isn’t one drop left then he turns his head towards me and snuggles in for sleep.
• I rub his back for a few minutes until his breathing slows and I know he’s in dreamland.
• I walk him into his room, kiss his forehead, place him in his crib on his NH afghans.
• I cover him with his favorite blankie and put his bunny lovie in arms reach.
• Then off to bed I go.

One night he got up 10 minutes after the normal nightly routine and all he wanted was to cuddle with me again on the couch. Sometimes I shake things up and rock him in the glider. He doesn’t seem to have a preference as long as he can cling to me, he’s happy.

I memorize these moments so that one day, when he’s 16 and takes my car out for the first time with his friends, I can remember how sweet and innocent he used to be lying in my arms.

I assumed I got it – that I understood the feeling of sadness when you heard of something horrible happening to a child. Actual stories in the news are heartbreaking, but I am also affected by anything I see on TV or in the movies. I saw Titanic last weekend at the theatre while it was being re-released for a limited time. I forgot how sad it was to watch all of those people drowning at the end as the boat sank – or how hard it would be to hear children and babies crying out for their families as they got separated in the commotion at the end of the film.

I have a bad habit of putting myself into movie situations and I start to think how empty I would feel if I ever lost Aidan. Yes, it is morbid, but I had no idea how much I DIDN’T know what it would feel like to have a son, never mind losing one.

Love you A.

This year was Aidan’s very first Easter. When he finally rolled his sleepy head out of bed, he got to open up his basket from the E-E bunny. I used to call the Easter bunny the E-E bunny. Maybe because I couldn’t say s’s or t’s very well. I was also frightened of the E-E bunny, but that’s neither here nor there.

Aidan loved the cellophane on his basket more than anything else.

Then we went to a petting zoo that was set up at the North Ranch Country Club (where we had reservations for Easter dinner later that day). At first he was hesitant to touch the animals, but then he squealed with excitement once he saw me petting them.

After vigorously cleaning our hands, we made our way to the park where Cali supervised the bigA while he ate sand.

Then it was off to the house for lunch and a bath to wash the sand away! Funny how that stuff sticks to babies like glue, finding it’s way into belly buttons and leg folds.

His bath was followed by a nice long nap so that everyone could recharge their batteries in preparation for the family dinner. It was a successful first Easter for the AMan, but I am looking forward to next year so we can have an egg hunt!

I never thought the day would come when I would say that Aidan needs new toys. He has gotten so many as gifts in all his 9 months of living, but after joining him in playing with his toys the past few nights, I found that I got bored very quickly! I am sure he doesn’t feel the same way, but I think he will soon enough. I mean, you can only enjoy a red barrel and wooden trucks for so long, right??

Last night I left him gated in his room and tipped the toy box over so everything was easily accessible. I went in the other room to change into comfy clothes and I could hear him playing away without a care in the world. I would peek in every few minutes to see him tapping blocks together or putting a car in his mouth. He would laugh to himself or say “da-da” or “ma-ma” (his new favorite syllables). But after about 6-7 minutes, he crawled to the gate in front of his door and used it to help him stand up and look out into the hallway. At this point in his playtime ritual, Cali is guarding the gate and when she hears him climb up, she also stands up and puts her feet on top of the gate next to his hands. She kisses him, he squeals.

The A-man is a highly intellectual baby so I think he needs some more challenging toys. Stuff that he can interact with – maybe even something we can play together. Any toy suggestions such as particular brands or a good development stage would be a huge help. Please comment!

Ryan had a soccer game at 9pm tonight so we planned on eating dinner together with the A-man at 8pm at a sub shop called Jersey Mike’s.  There are a couple of these restaurants in our area and they make a really great sandwich.  All the meat is sliced to order so everything on the menu is very fresh.

I got the diaper bag all packed up with Aidan’s food, spoon, bib – everything he would need to have his dinner with us at the restaurant.  We usually take turns feeding him while we eat and it goes pretty well.

Since Ryan would have to leave for his game right after we finished eating, we took separate cars.  I left a few minutes before Ryan so that I could get Aidan situated at the restaurant in a high chair.

When A & I got to Jersey Mike’s, we waited for Ryan for about 5 minutes before he called me on my cell phone.  While I was at the Jersey Mike’s in Thousand Oaks, Ryan was at the Jersey Mike’s in Newbury Park.  It was too late for either of us to leave the restaurant we were at to meet up with the other person and have dinner together, so we dined at the same restaurant in different cities.

I was a little nervous about tending to Aidan all by myself in a restaurant that I intended to eat at, but I did it and had major success.  The Big A ate like a champ and I was able to eat at the same time as well.  It was perfect!  But it felt weird to be without Ryan; we have gotten so used to spending all our time together as a family unit–especially at dinnertime.  It gets lonely when we aren’t together!

What’s totally silly about the title of this entry is that all my time BELONGS to Aidan. It’s not like he stands up in his crib and says, “Mama, pay attention to me!” All my time is given to this guy every second of every day! When I am not physically holding him or playing with him, he is constantly on my mind.

On my morning drive, I wonder what time he will wake up and when he does wake up, will he wake up on the wrong side of the crib? Will he sit up and hug his lovie and plot his escape from his crib?

When I’m at work, my nanny texts me A-man updates so I can get a sense of how well he’s napping or eating. Sometimes she sends me a picture so I can see his beautiful face or goofy grin.

On my drive home, Ryan’s already been home with him for 2 hours so we touch base once I hit the road to find out how he is doing. Last night, he sent me a picture of Aidan smiling from inside his crib and Ryan said, “He has mastered the letter M – mumumum! Mommy come home!”

I squealed with glee because Aidan has been saying “dada” for the past few days and now it’s my turn!